CNN: The retirement of the pirate leader Mohamed Abdi Hassan, also known as “Afweyne,” has generated much media coverage, but the real significance of his announcement is the indication it gives of how Somalia’s pirates currently view their business model. It appears that hijacking vessels in the Indian Ocean and the Gulf of Aden is no longer seen as a relatively risk-free affair.
God Bless America! The land of the free and the home of the brave. The land of Starbucks and Las Vegas and Christmas and flatscreen TVs. Meanwhile, in Africa, they still have fucking pirates. Like fucking pirates. How fucking hard is it to get on your feet, Africa. Like seriously. Africa’s the world’s oldest continent yet it has made the least amount of progress in civilization. What’s with all the damn wars? I’m sick of Americans being labeled racist when we got shit like Hotel Rwanda going on over there in Africa. Those guys are literally committing mass genocide. Motherfucking famines, diseases, wars, damn. The biggest problem with Africa first and foremost is that there are too many fucking people. It’s a huge strain on the infrastructure. I’ve already mentioned this. Step one towards making Africa a good place to live. Stop having so many fucking babies. Step two, repeat until you’ve got your shit together.