Dominican man Geraldo Ramos told local TV station Noticias Sin this week that he passed out drunk and woke up with no penis.
The 45-year-old from Santiago says he has no clue where his penis went, but neighbors told the station that Ramos was attacked by a dog when he was drunk. Ramos, however, has no recollection of this. The alleged dog has not been found.
It’s things like this that make me question hardcore boozing. I love going out on the town and testing the durability of my liver and kidneys with massive amounts of beer and shots just as much as the next guy. There have been plenty of hangovers that have led me to question my use of alcohol on many occasions. I always go back to the bottle. I am not admitting to alcoholism…..I am admitting to loving alcohol….two different things.
Now….we have all made questionable decisions while under the influence. If you drink and say you haven’t done something you regret….then your a liar. WE ALL HAVE….but waking up without your genitals…..that is a whole new level of drinker’s remorse. My question is….how fucking wasted do you have to be in order to sleep through a dog eating off your dick?!?! Seriously…I’ve been passed out before…..but how much do you have to drink to actually turn alcohol into complete anesthesia?? I am sure even the assholes who get a face full of sharpie penis drawings would wake up if a dog was gnawing on their kibbles and bits.
As far as identifying “rock bottom”…..and deciding to quit the bottle….I don’t think I have heard a worse story. I have heard some really shitty “rock bottom” stories. I mean sucking dick for coke ain’t got shit on not waking up while a dog turns your dick into a chew toy….nope….sorry. If this guy doesn’t quit boozing after this they should put his picture in the dictionary next to “alcoholic”…..because that is the true definition.