Ars: On Monday, a Florida man found guilty of gaining access to 50 e-mail accounts—including those of Scarlett Johansson, Mila Kunis, Renee Olstead, and others—was sentenced on federal charges to 10 years in jail. Chaney pled guilty to nine counts of “aggravated identity theft,” “wiretapping,” and other crimes earlier this year.
Anybody who hacks my ScarJo deserves the fucking needle. Don’t get me wrong, I’d do terrible things to Mila Kunis and Renee Olstead because I don’t respect them. I just want to do things to them. But Scarlett Johansson, she’s just about diamond ring material. I mean, I wouldn’t fuck Scarlett Johansson, I’d make love to her.
That being said, if she asked me to play ring around her rosey, I totes would. Got some tig ole biddies.