It isn’t the phone itself that is a sign of the apocalypse…it is simply the people and the unbelievable mindless following of a company that somehow brainwashed millions and millions of people….and continues to do so.
Is the new iPhone a sweet phone? I am sure it is. Does it have cool apps and a sweet camera? Yea…sure. Is it light years ahead of it’s predecessor? NO! It is almost the same goddamn phone!!! They put the headphone jack on the bottom….added a few tweaks to the internal hardware, kicked Google maps to the curb, made the screen .00001 inches bigger and…..BLAM!! Line around the building for days! These people in line are trying to spend their hard earned money on the same thing they already have in their pocket.
Bravo Apple. I am jealous. I wish I could sell someone almost the same product over and over again every two years, at $600 a pop. Way to realize that a majority of people are fucking retarded and to fully capitalize on said mental deficiency. Speaking of people with mental health issues….check out the guy in the next photo….his parents must be proud.
He is an Apple “genius”. Yea…..genius. He must be using all of his brain power on helping people buy overpriced electronics and have none left for any reasonable fashion decisions. The super mullet-pedophile stache look hasn’t been that creepy since that guy said he had candy and a puppy in the back of his black van when I was 7. Bottom line is….i don’t think that “genius” is allowed within 100 yards of a school or playground.
You would think they were giving out free money….or blowjobs…..or blowjobs while laying in a pile of free money. Nope….none of that. Just a phone.
Camping out for a phone is ridiculous. Remember when you camped out in line for something….YEA….ME NEITHER! There hasn’t been anything that I have wanted that much. If I have to wait in line for a midnight showing of a movie for more than an hour…my fat ass is headed back home to spank it on the couch. Fuck that noise. You know what this is like….this is like waiting in line overnight to see “The Dark Knight: Director’s Cut”. You already saw it….own it….watched it a million times….but now….they have added 10 minutes of unseen footage and made minor digital projection adjustments….and the movie screen is 1 foot bigger….and then you get in line for days to watch the “new” version. No?….you wouldn’t do that?? Why not??? BECAUSE IT IS FUCKIN DUMB!!! THAT’S WHY!!
Here is the finale. I am not making this up. Here is a picture of the iphone 4S next to the iphone 5. This picture was taken by an Apple customer. I don’t even think I need to make a joke about this. Bigger screen? Do you measure your screen size in ball hairs?? Because that is 2 ball hairs bigger than the other one….maybe 2 and a half ball hairs…..but that is it. If I waited in line overnight for that….I would be going postal up in that motherfucker. I would have opened fire on men, women, and children!!!…..but not these mindless drones….nope…..they will do the same thing in a year for the iPhone 5.1. I am gonna make a prediction about the next iPhone….it is gonna have…drum roll please…………………..almost the same specs as this one….but a ball hair bigger. You heard it here first people.