A male nurse has been arrested after he was caught committing a sex act on a dead woman, it was revealed today.
Security guards at Sherman Oaks Hospital reportedly caught Alejandro Lazo, 61, committing an act of necrophilia on Sunday and held him until officers arrived.
LAPD Lt Andy Neiman told CBS Los Angeles there was an ‘indication that a deceased patient had somehow been violated by an employee of the hospital’.
We have all been there. Horny and lonely. But let’s be serious…..any person in their right mind doesn’t even want to be in the room with a dead body….let alone inside the dead body. This dude is fucked hard in the head. I need to know how long that Mr. Alejandro Lazo has been working in the hospitals. He is 61 years old. So even if he took a few years off at some point….it is safe to say he has at least 25-30 years on the job. Do you think at 61 years old this was the first time he tried his luck in the meat cooler?? Absolutely not. This dude has been diddling dead bodies for AT LEAST a couple of decades.
I guess if you put aside the level of grossness…..and the illegality…..and moral hang ups……a dead “Jane Doe” body would make the perfect short term girlfriend. I say Jane Doe….because you shouldn’t be tagging someone’s dead wife or sister. I am saying if you get a “Law and Order: SVU” level dead hooker in an alley somewhere…..it changes the game. Now hear me out…..you have this dead hooker….that let everyone fuck her anyway…..she is a Jane Doe…..no family or friends……and if you think about it, she has been dead on the inside since she turned her first trick. So right there the moral hang ups are out the window.
Now let’s explore the pros: She can’t complain, she can’t say “no…i have a headache tonight”, you don’t have to go to any of her family gatherings, she can’t cheat on you, she can’t get pregnant, she will always be down for oral and anal, you can be as rough as you want, she will wear any outfit you decide to put her in, she will let you finish on her face/tits, she won’t tell you to clean the house, she won’t bitch about the dishes in the sink, she won’t care if you play video games, you will always get to pick the movie, she won’t constantly tell you she is cold…..she will be…..but she won’t talk about it, she won’t try to pick your friends, she won’t tell you that you have had too much to drink, she won’t point out that you are ALWAYS watching sports, she won’t question your choices in porn, and last but not least….you will always know where to find her.
Now let’s explore the cons: you are gonna need lube…..lots of lube, her hair will start to fall out, her body will start to decompose, her body temperature might take some getting used to, gotta dodge the morgue staff during your “tryst”, can’t go out to dinner, can’t go to the movies (Weekend at Bernie’s?), possible arrest, possible jail time (gonna need more lube)……oh yea…..and she is dead.
Okay….so I guess the whole dead chick thing out weighs any “pro” list I could come up with….but if any woman wants a list of how to be a better girlfriend/wife to their man…..they can refer to the “pro list for necrophilia” right here at BrokenFilter.net. You’re welcome.