There may be talk of whether or not cats are smarter than dogs. They very well may be. I have no problem saying that it is probably true. BUT….they are just plain assholes. Cute and cuddly at first….but then the real “fuck you” attitude comes along.
Here kitty kitty!!….”nope…..fuck you.”
Want a treat kitty??…..”no…eat a dick….I’ll eat when I feel like it”
Sit….stay!!……….”fuck no…..I do what I want”
Let’s cuddle!!……….”how about I scratch your face!?!”
Go to the bathroom outside kitty!!……”nope….right the fuck here…in a box….in your kitchen….deal with it.”
Not to mention….cats are not happy to see you when you come in the house. You could have been gone for 3 weeks….they treat you like the Mexican cleaning lady. “Oh….you’re here?? I was napping….fuck off.”
A dog?? May be dumb. Fine. But he will make you feel loved. You leave for twenty minutes?? Come home to a goddamn K9 homecoming party and snuggle fest. “You’re home!! You’re home!!!! I thought you were never coming back!!! Thank God!!! I love you so much!!!”
Do I even have to discuss home security?? What the fuck is fluffy the cat gonna do if shit goes down?!? Exactly…..run and hide under the couch. Fido?? He will literally take a bullet for you….or remove someone’s limb that looked at you the wrong way.
They say cats are smarter but they call dogs “Man’s Best Friend”. I have a lot of friends. They are not all rocket scientists….but are they there for me when I am in a tough spot??…..yup. I want the same in a pet. No need to be that smart….just don’t be a dick. Cats are dicks more often than not. Nobody wants to hang out with the guy that has a huge attitude problem most the time. Same goes for pets. Fuck cats.