CNN: An Australian teenager reported missing two months ago has been found alive in dense bushland not far from his home, local police say.
On Saturday, two hikers told police that they had spotted a “disorientated man” in bushland not far from Westleigh. When rescuers reached Allen, he was in a bad way suffering from exhaustion and dehydration. Local media said he was emaciated, covered in leeches and mosquito bites and his feet and lower legs were suffering from gangrene. It was believed he had been in the bush the entire nine weeks he was missing, police said.
What fucking year was that photo taken in? The fucking 70’s? For real, this guy straight up looks like he lives in 1975. Either that or he’s the fat kid from Hot Tub Time Machine.
We give a teenager (of modest obesity) two months to live out in the wild, on his own. Does he survive? Yup, and props to him for that. But given another week or two, I’m not so sure he would have made it. Some stupid teen who was probably mad at his parents, swears that he’s going to run away, and actually does it. Except instead of running to the city like a normal kid, he decided to go all My Side of the Mountain and go straight up woodsman. Comes back emaciated, dehydrated, covered in leeches, and sick with gangrene.
Young people nowadays are pussies. I’m no survivalist folks, I grew up a city boy. But young people need to be taught survival skills by their fathers. It’s important dude. Fishing, maybe hunting if you don’t mind killing animals, camping, general outdoors survival skills. You never know when the zombies will come and you’re going to have to bail. By the way, treehouses bro. It’s all about treehouses. No zombie is going to be able to climb trees and shit. Build some fucking sweet treehouses and we’re good.