I’ve had my fill of reality shows that depict the far-fetched. Commercial logging, haggling for old muscle cars, and chasing gold. Those shows have certainly been enjoyable, but this podcaster is ready for the next level in reality based programming. I’ve got a proposal to make. When you’re gathered on the couch with your family, have a big bowl of popcorn and a roaring fire, it’d be nice to feast your eyes on some programming that’s within EVERYONE’S capability of potentially occurring wouldn’t it? I know I’ll never be in Greenland digging for rubies. Taking helicopter rides in Hawaii with mob wives don’t seem too probable.
Under the streets of New York, there is an experience everybody ought to have in their lifetimes- and should be shared with the world via reality TV. One that can be shared by the young and old, any nationality or demographic. Tall or short, composed or drooling, or anyone with a 3 ft piece of toilet paper stuck to their sticky, unwashed pants. What is that experience you ask? It’s riding the Friday/Saturday night 2:15am Long Island Railroad East Bound “Drunk Train”.
Hurdling through a urine stained pneumatic tube under New York City is a 50 mph party and you’re invited! You’ve heard the New York City Police Department referred to as “New York’s Finest”. Wrong.
If you’ve ever been lucky enough to be counted among the people on this drunken disaster, you’d know who the finest truly are. And what the definition of cosmopolitan really is. It’s a sea of drunken asses headed back out to their suburban ranch houses wearing their $16 polo shirts, mixed with the primordial ooze of New York’s scariest creatures. It would be one of the most entertaining goddamn shows on television. Picture a couple of candid camera crews getting every detail! We could all watch as confused 22 year old college students home for break narrowly miss puking on the person next to them. You’d see scary people in trench coats lurking around, people looking like they’re ready to go to a Richard Simmons workout stretching their ankles, lots of strange facial hair, and people you’d offer money to not to breed.
Ratings week here we come. The Drunk Train. New episodes every Monday. Don’t miss this week’s episode where a beautiful young 19 year old community college student falls asleep, misses her stop and is awoken by a hobo licking her knee caps. On the next all new “Drunk Train”…