“A 2010 study from the University of Oxford, popular once more, connects the big booty to healthy children, crediting the Omega 3 “good” fatty acids present in the mother’s body for the extra boost.
And fat deposits like those in the hips, butt and thighs store heightened levels of Omega 3s, the same fatty acids that help babies’ brains develop properly.
Evidence shows the fats in a mother’s breast milk comes from the lower half of the body, which means that all those Omega 3s become a part of baby’s balanced breakfast.
But this idea isn’t new: Research dating back to 2007 showed that gluteofemoral fat is key in producing smart offspring.
In fact, University of Pittsburgh study author William Lassek even hypothesized men could be attracted to women with large bottoms as an evolutionary way of ensuring successful children.
Lassek’s gone so far as to publish a book on the subject, titled “Why Women Need Fat.””
(Source: Elite Daily)
So not only does that badonkadonk get a girl first crack at being in the background of a hip hop video with champagne waterfalls flowing down her g-string….science says it’s good for babies. Yup….and I don’t mean women with beautiful big butt cheeks have a better chance of getting horny men to take them from behind and procreate…..I mean science says it makes SMARTER babies!
So what the bottom line here is (pun intended) is that there is NOTHING that a big beautiful ass can’t get you. Drinks paid for at the bar….check. Door held open for you (we do that to catch a glimpse…not to be chivalrous, sorry ladies)…..check. Great fitting yoga pants….check. Music career with little to no other talent (Iggy, J Lo, etc.)…..check. AND NOW…you chicks with ham hock heinies make smarter babies?!!?
It doesn’t just stop there. Nice, big, round asses make the world go ’round. Freddie Mercury knew this in 1978 and he was gay. “Fat Bottomed Girls” was not only ahead of it’s time musically…but scientifically as well. These chicks do make the world go around. They are the what we need to survive. Without smart children provided by our fat bottomed girls…we will all start fucking our own cousins, living in trailers, and being completely bigoted towards people of different races and sexual orientations….and I don’t just mean in “the south”….I mean ALL OF US! We have come too far to regress!
It is your mission as a single man to go out this weekend and climb on a girl with a fat ass and enjoy the ride. Don’t do it for you….do it for the good of mankind. DO IT FOR FREDDIE MERCURY! Do it for the ass……but….of course….do it for science.