CNN: Eight years ago, Leanne Rowe was in a serious car crash that resulted in a broken back and jaw. But when the former bus driver and Australian Army Reserve member recovered, she was left with something completely unexpected: a French accent. Rowe, who is now unable to speak with her original Aussie accent, said she has become a “recluse,” and often has her daughter speak for her in public.
“I am not French,” Rowe told the Australian Broadcasting Corporation (ABC) on Sunday. “It makes me so angry because I am Australian.”
I’d be angry too if I had a French accent. French language sounds like it hurts your throat to speak. And it’s so nasal. And why do they always seem to blend all fucking vowels into one sound? Not to mention the fact that French has more silent letters than any language I’ve ever seen.
I for one believe that all languages should be spelled entirely phonetically. “Receive” should be “reeseev”. “Thorough” should be “thorow”. And I would eliminate several letters. The letters c, q, and x can all be eliminated, and the letter g will be like the g in gum, not like the g that sounds like a j, like in passage. Words like garage will be spelled “garaj”. Somehow that sounds French too. I feel like pronouncing a g like a j is French.
Why do we have a language where one letter can have two possible sounds? It’s fucked. The letter c should be either a k, or an s. Cone should be kone. Pace should be pase. Q can be replaced with ‘kw’. And x should be replaced with ‘ks’. Exodus becomes Eksodus.
France is just as bad. Check out that map and look in the middle at the city Bourges. Is that pronounced “bor zho”? What about Rennes? I kind feel like they say it with one syllable. Bordeaux should just be “bor-dow”. Done and done.