New York’s Lauren Silberman made history Sunday as the first woman ever to try out for pro football, but she was forced to leave the field early in tears after aggravating a leg injury in kickoff drills.
She tried two kickoffs, the first going 19 yards and the second about 13 yards, and then asked to see a trainer.
It was the second kick that likely caused the injury.
Let’s start off this post by explaining that she was trying out to be a kicker. The kicker on a football field gets about as much contact during a game as the guy who does the ankle taping. The waterboy gets knocked over more than the kicker. The fucker in the endzone with the stupid satellite dish looking microphone gets plowed into the ground AT LEAST once a game. The kicker gets hit maybe 3 times a season….and they usually call a fuckin penalty when they do get hit. So it is easy to say that a woman could HYPOTHETICALLY be a professional kicker….if said woman was an Olympic level soccer player…..maybe.
I was a little iffy on whether or not God existed…..until this happened. I think God himself reached down and caused this chick’s inury. There has to be a point when he has to intervene. The world is falling apart at the seams….the American government can’t pull their heads out of their asses long enough to make anything work, there are wars all over the planet, Justin Bieber’s pants don’t fit……and now a woman wants to play professional football?!?! Enough is enough already. There are certain things he just can’t let happen. Enter divine intervention at it’s finest.
So let’s discuss the numbers……she tried 2 kickoffs….one went 19 yards….and one went 13 yards. My fat ass could get a ball to go at least 30 yards…and the REAL professionals are cranking out 75 yards on a kickoff. I wonder how hard the other guys at the tryout were laughing at her. Did this affect their performance?? That isn’t fair. “I couldn’t kick because I was laughing so hard at this chick over here….can I get a do-over??”
I think women need to just stop it. Just stop. You are more nurturing and better looking than us. You have softer skin and are better at multitasking…..just leave the football to the big boys. There is no reason for an embarrassment like this chick endured. You aren’t even at high school level kicker ability….don’t show up talking about being a “professional”. You are like one of those people that try out for American Idol singing like a dying cat. They get on TV because it is just too funny not to show people. The best part is when they truly think they are amazing. They cry about how everyone tells them that they are so great and that they have a bright future in the industry…. but they just sang “Amazing Grace” in the key of “what the fuck is that”. A back alley cat orgy seems like a more inviting sound than your ear shattering voice. This is what this chick is to professional football. You can only respond with…”awwww….she really thinks she has a chance…..that’s cute”.
Men are faster and stronger. We just are. It is a fact. Not an opinion….a fact. There are super athletic chicks out there…and I commend them for their constant hard work….keep it up…..BUT…..they are not going to compete at the same level as their male counterparts. It is just how it is….and these chicks showing up at NFL scouting tryouts rocking 13 yard kickoffs just need to plain cease and desist. You are embarrassing yourself and the other women out there that know better then to try something like this. Just stop it……………………………now show us your boobs.
P.S. She left the field crying. You only get to cry if you WON…. or… LOST the big game…..or if Rudy got into the game and got a sack….THAT’S IT. Your tears are like little tiny wet beads of truth….and the truth is you didn’t belong there.