CNN: Spanx revenues for 2011 were estimated at just under $250 million, according to independent research by Forbes Magazine. The magazine also cited that four Wall Street investment banks valued the company at $1 billion.
For those of you who don’t know, Spanx is basically a cross between panty hose and a corset. It slims down everything into a tighter, less jiggly package. This just goes to show how superficial women are. All that nonsense fat chicks spew about “beauty is only skin-deep” is true if by beauty you mean personality. But if I’m standing behind/below you on the escalator in the mall I’m not thinking about your personality. I’m thinking about the beauty of the ass that’s four feet away from my face. You can’t have it both ways, ladies. And we know you get off on that shit anyway, when you catch people staring at your ass, you just don’t admit it.
How about this little situation. You take this chick out on a couple dates then she invites you upstairs. You then realize she was wearing Spanx the whole time and two push-up bra’s. What you have left is NOT what was advertised. That’s called bait-and-switch, and if you get Spanx’d you should call the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC). What if I were to make some sort of product that makes my income seem larger? Some chick seems into me, and I want to be in her, so I invite her upstairs where she discovers that all of my furniture is from Ikea. She’s calling the CPSC too.